10 ways to promote good Adult/teen relationships,DOESN'T JUST APPLY TO GLBTQ

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10 Ways for Adults to Create Healthy Youth-Adult Partnerships
LSEN encourages adults involved in safe schools organizing at the
local, state or national level to create and maintain healthy and
positive youth-adult partnerships. A major part of that is recognizing that
adultism—the oppression of, prejudice toward or discrimination against
young people because of their age—is alive and well in this society. Being
aware of adultist assumptions and behaviors—as well as adult privilege—as
you engage with youth as partners in this work will create healthy and
effective youth-adult partnerships. Youth or students, as defined by
GLSEN, includes anyone in middle school or high school, although most of
these tips could also be applied to work with all people, regardless of age.
Please read below for some great ideas on how to effectively include youth
in your organizing efforts!
1. Involve young people from the start
It’s important that when you begin working with students you provide them with significant
leadership roles. Have them involved in your planning from the start, and take their
suggestions seriously, just as you would with other adults. Not only is it important that you
listen to young peoples’ voices, but also provide them with the opportunity to create change
and be an active member of the team.
2. Listen
Provide students with a space where they are comfortable, safe
and supported. It’s important to listen carefully and try to
understand their perspectives. Allow them to realize the
strength of their voices and opinions, by not only listening, but
also involving them in decision-making opportunities.
3. Remember—everyone has potential
Because of adultism, many young people tend to be ignored and not given the opportunity
to express their ideas. Always remember that you can learn something from each person
you work with, regardless of their age! Allow students to find their own answers and make
mistakes. Provide them with the opportunity to demonstrate their strengths while
supporting and nurturing their challenges.
4. Be a role model
As the old saying goes, “Practice what you preach!” Be consistent in your actions and in
what you say. Always remember, even when you think they are not watching, students may
be observing your every move and learning from you. As a trusted adult, you must remain
appropriate and know your limits when working with young people. Remember, you are not
their friend nor their peer – but someone they can learn from and model after.
5. Share your wisdom and experiences
When working with young people, it’s important for everyone involved to share relevant
experiences and wisdom. Provide students with a sense of why you do the work you do and
what keeps you going, and ask that they share the same with you! Remember, you don’t
always need to have all the answers; you are allowed to make mistakes. Students will
appreciate your honesty and the fact that the partnership is a constant learning experience
for all those involved.
© 2007 Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network 90 Broad Street, 2nd Fl. New York, NY 10004
tel: (212) 727-0135 fax: (212) 727-0254 email: glsen@glsen.org web: www.glsen.org
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6. Don’t be afraid to say “I Don’t Know”
As you continue to build relationships with young people, many
will begin to trust you. At times, they will share situations that
might surprise you or leave you speechless. When asked for
advice, don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know what to say right
now, but I will try to help you find the resources you need.” As
a trusted adult, you should seek resources that will help the
student with whatever they are facing. This student is putting
their trust in you, so get back to them as soon as possible with
any suggestions or referrals you offer. For those acting as
representatives of GLSEN, remember, we are not a direct
service organization, but we can certainly refer people—be they youth or adults—to
organizations that provide that direct support.
7. Develop the 3 G’s: guidelines, goals and growth
It is important to set GUIDELINES. Remember to make sure the work that you do, what
you speak of, and how you interact with youth is age-appropriate. These guidelines need to
be set to make the safest environment possible for all students involved. Set GOALS.
Remember, don’t aim too high, or failure might be inevitable; don’t aim too low, or it’s proof
that you are not trusting the student’s potential. Create these goals together, as a
partnership. Encourage GROWTH. This process will be a growing experience for everyone
involved. Allow the space to make mistakes, share achievements and develop your skills.
Create a system where you can hold every team member accountable and provide
assistance if things are not going as planned.
8. Be a resource
As a member of a safe schools campaign or local/national organization, you may have
access to resources that young people might not have (although the opposite may also be
true!). Whether it’s connecting them with a local community organization, or providing
them with the resources necessary for them to complete their tasks, encourage students’
success by providing them the necessary support.
9. Provide an opportunity for reflection
Some of the work you regularly engage in might be new to many young people, and new
experiences can be intense for people of any age. Remember to take the opportunity to
process and reflect on the work you are doing. Don’t allow the students to become
overwhelmed or feel unsupported. As an adult in a leadership role, it is your responsibility
to create a forum where they can share their experiences and re-energize for the work to
come. Create journals, write about your experiences and share your challenges and
achievements. And remember, these opportunities for reflection can be useful for everyone
involved in safe schools work, not just young people!
10. Finally, have fun!
ALWAYS, remember to have fun! The
work that we do is not easy, so make sure
you make it as fun as possible. Once you
are done with your project or you sense
spirit is down, celebrate your successes
and all your hard work by having a pizza
party, a bowling trip, or something that is
fun and demonstrates your appreciation of
the students’—and adults’— hard work!
Avoid burn out and create a fun,
productive and working atmosphere!